Facing Mother’s Day While Grieving
As Mother’s Day approaches, I can feel the anxiety rising as I continue to grieve my daughter’s death. Early in my grief, I learned that having both a Plan A and a Plan B can soften the emotional impact of days like this. Keeping myself busy has often been the only thing that steadies me, but I’ve also learned it’s completely okay to scrap every plan if that’s what my heart needs when the day arrives.
Last year, I planned a weekend around the things Maria and I loved—travel, nature, hiking, music—and I knew I’d have the chance to visit with one of her dear friends. I remember waking up with the sun coming through the window and feeling that heavy oh no… it’s Mother’s Day moment. And then, unexpectedly, I felt her. Warm. Close. Almost as if she were wrapping her arms around me and nudging me toward a little joy. The day unfolded more gently than I imagined, and spending time with her friend helped me feel Maria close in a way I hadn’t expected but deeply needed.
This year, I’m still searching for what feels right. I’ve been talking with other bereaved parents and reading ideas from grief organizations, and I’ve gathered a few possibilities. Not every suggestion will fit every heart, but maybe one of these ideas can make the day a little more bearable for someone else walking this path.
Let someone support you
Tell one trusted person the day might be hard.
Don’t leave the day completely empty unless that truly feels right.
Connect with nature or meaningful places
Spend time outdoors or visit a place your loved one cherished.
Sit by a memorial bench, walk a favorite trail, or simply feel the sun.
Plant something living as a quiet tribute.
Honor their memory in small, intentional ways
Do an act of kindness in their name.
Play their favorite music or make a playlist.
Wear something that reminds you of them.
Cook their favorite meal.
Light a candle or create a small remembrance space.
Release messages in eco‑friendly ways—flowers, seed paper, bubbles.
Create space for your heart
Write a letter to your loved one.
Make a memory box or altar.
Set aside a “quiet hour” to reflect or breathe.
Create a new tradition—or skip the holiday entirely if that’s what you need.
However you choose to move through the day, offer yourself the same compassion you would give anyone else carrying this kind of love and loss. There is no right way to face an emotional holiday or milestone date in grief —only the way that feels bearable, honest, and true to your heart. And whatever that looks like for you this year is enough.